This Ain't The Waltons, hell no

Is this business trip over yet?

I've learned a lot this week. I've learned about the business. I've gotten to know my new colleagues. I've gotten drunk with my new colleagues.

I've also learned that I am not accustomed to going 2 weeks without a cock. And I don't like it.

I've been banking the need, shoving it to the back of my brain, ignoring the need, at least until the day is over and I'm in my hotel rooom, alone. Then, either my mind insists I stroke myself until I get a small amount of release, or I fall into an alcohol-and-heat-induced slumber.

None of my colleagues has really sparked a flame, which is a testament to my effort to be on my best behavior. No, these are men I will work with, not fuck. Small company, no no no.

However.

Yesterday, I met a guy who made the need flare. I'll call him John. I tried to concentrate on my job, on asking him questions about his job, but my eyes kept drifting to his exoticly toned skin, his dark, tight beard and slightly curly black hair, his very long eyelashes, lean muscled body and the smoldering look in his green eyes. And I know my nipples were peaking under my shirt, but the barrier of bra and the lovely bright yellow-green safety vest kept that fact known to only me. He may have smelled my arousal, though... I was certainly sweaty enough from the Louisiana heat.

John was irritated when my team arrived in his trailer, chewing out one of his teammates before we came in. I ignored that and plunked my sweaty body into a chair directly behind him so I could see right over his shoulder at the computer screens he was using. He glanced over his shoulder in irritation, then did a double-take as our eyes met, and I grinned at him.

Over the next 45 minutes or so, I watched him work and my appreciation for his job grew as did my body's reaction. I resisted the urge to lean closer over his shoulder, the urge to put my chin onto his shoulder to watch, to lean over his shoulder to look closer, with perhaps some incidental contact. The chemistry reaction was strong but my colleagues were all behind me, watching me watch. I behaved myself. And my colleagues seemed oblivious to the heat between John and me.

When he finally had a break in the action and could answer questions, I tried not to be aggressive with my questions. His answers were sometimes short, terse, filled with stress as the system he was working on wasn't cooperating. But he relaxed a bit as I showed my respect for his skill, and I was truly impressed. Directing the team out on the field in multiple languages while controlling a vast system of hardware, including some highly dangerous stuff... impressive. And fucking HOT while doing so.

Several times during the afternoon, long after my team had left John's trailer, I found myself recalling his green eyes with long lashes... and the parting, intimate last look we had exchanged as I was deliberately the last one out his trailer door, smiling my thanks to his slightly puzzled, but clearly heated look back as he watched me leave.

I day-dreamed about him too often, drifting off during conversations that I really should have been listening to. And I'm still distracted by that dark look as I left. His long fingers flying over the keyboard and his sexy voice barking commands over the radio.

I plan to ask for him to be one of the testers of the system my team will be creating over the next few months.

This ain't over, yet. Oh, no, John-Boy, you'll see me again, Sexy Man.

But first, B, this weekend. Hell yeah.

Attempting to bank the fire

I'm facing a week of business travel in which I'll be tightly surrounded by my colleagues at all times. Getting laid while there is highly doubtful. I haven't been able to see B since last Saturday, a full week ago. And I won't see him before I leave.

Needless to say, I'm ragingly horny.

But I'm trying to temper it, to suppress it, to ignore it, deny it in the hope that I can get through the week still sane. Perhaps the heat and humidity of Louisiana will drain me thoroughly enough that I don't betray my innate nature to my new colleagues. Yes, a new job. I started on Wednesday. Job hunting over the past 2 months in addition to divorce proceedings and still facing the remnants of moving - 3 of life's biggest stresses all at once. I do nothing by halves.

So, a week of being surrounded by male colleagues that I just met and do not want to fuck. And there is drinking planned, oh yes. I'll have to temper that as well or I'll betray myself. Reveal the slut in a time and place where she does not belong. There was mention of a pool. Ummm, reveal myself that much to my colleagues??? Yikes. I'm thinking not.

But I'm ragingly horny. Must bank this, save it until I get back home and can let loose on B. Who is planning to rent porn while I'm gone, and he will also be crazy-horny by next weekend.

My screams will be heard across the mountains, I'm guessing. Hoping.

Craving...

Tonight, I'm craving hard use, so hard I have no choice but only to feel the cock pounding into me, the hand yanking my head back by my hair, the fingers twisting my nipples until I scream as my pussy soaks his cock sinking deep... to feel my arms spread and pinned by his hands, making me helpless, what a glorious feeling. Free to just feel what he is doing to my body, with my body, using it for his pleasure, which is my pleasure, where does his end and mine begin... around and over and between, exchanging until there is nothing between us but skin...

His hands shoving me down over the footboard of his bed, ass up, legs spread, my face buried into his sheets as he buries his cock deep, pounding me so hard I briefly wonder if my thighs might actually break, knowing I'll bruise and yet still cuming, hard, over and over...

Strong arms lifting me and tossing me onto my stomach, then his hard heavy body pressing me down, cock plunging into me as I scream and beg and writhe beneath him... then flipping me onto my back...

The mouth on my breast, sucking the tip, flicking across it, drawing deep until teeth grip me, gently, but flaring in delicious pain flashing down to my clit... and again I yell my pleasure as I cum...

My clit engulfed by his mouth and tongue, sucked and flicked and probed until I'm straining up to his lips, his fingers burying into my cunt, my hands buried in his hair, begging for harder, my nails raking his back as I press my hips up... up... gods, yes, don't stop, ahhhh fucckkkkk.

Fingers tangled in my hair holding my head where he wants it as he nibbles on my ear, nibbles so hard I know I have lost skin and still I want more.

His voice growling in my ear, telling me to hold back, not to cum, not to let it free, as he pounds and strokes and smashes my clit, over and over... and I beg, plead... scream... until he finally releases me and I slam up into him, my cunt throbbing and sucking on his cock, drenching us both, and still he holds back...

His hand on my head, shoving me down to lick his cock clean of our juices, then to engulf him in my mouth, trying to swallow him all, gagging on his length, spreading my mouth wide to try to fit his girth but not easing my efforts... licking around the bulge of the tip, slurping along the length, swirling up and down, pressing on him with my lips as he starts to shudder and gasp with pleasure...

Until he drags my head up by my hair, to stop me from making him cum, to force me on top of him, to ride him... ride him hard, trying to hold back my climax because it makes me freeze in pleasure and I don't want to stop, I want to ride him so hard he loses control... but he doesn't lose control until he decides to... usually at least 2 hours after he first begins...

But when he does cum... amazing quantities of delicious hot cum, on my face, on my chest, into my mouth, in my hair, into my pussy, into my ass... where he chooses, not me. Where he craves... groaning as he releases and I yell, hoarse but loving the last stretch as his cock expands to explode in me. And when he's done, pulling me away/off from him again and shoving me to curl up by his side, head on his shoulder as our hearts slow and we revel and relax in the aftermath.

Until Round 2.

Often after these times, I don't wash my hair until the following night, smiling to myself as I touch the stiff places underneath. Smelling him on me as long as I can. Feeling the sting and the bite of soreness from muscles pushed to their limit, wincing from my ass stretched to fit his cock and grinning from my pussy raw from his shaft.

The times between are at first quiet, sated, for a few days and then... agony. Vibrators can't touch this need. My fingers only bring forth a single climax, barely easing the edge. And he says the same, that masturbation only barely takes the edge away... the intensity of our coming together is unmatched by anyone or anything else. And so I wait. Unwilling to accept anything less. No other playmate can come close, so it's not worth the time.

But it builds...

Craving.....

Gorging on the banquet... before I die

Last Fall, I took a few business trips. During said business trips, I met with friends. Friends with benefits. New friends. Friends I'll never see again but enjoyed the hell out of. And I fucked every one of them.

If I tally it up... hmmmm...

One week's trip, 8 different people, some more than 1 time, over 5 days. Uh, yeah, more than 1 at a time. Several times, 3 at a time... oh, well, including me, 4. In fact, my after-work schedule was so jammed that I had 2 meetings in one afternoon/evening, one with 3 other people in the afternoon MFMF, then the evening, FMF/FFM/MFF/oh yeah.

Another trip, twice a FMFM, once a MFM, a night of dancing my ass off and dancing/making out with any woman who cared to dance with me, grinding back against my best "boyfriend", and wrapping up the trip with a friend who just needed a kind fuck.

Here at home, nearly every weekend, something new, often someone new, another new experience, another person... or two. One very delightful evening , a woman set up some time with me and her husband as a surprise. He was very surprised and it was absolutely fun and I ticked off at least 3 dirty activities on his Life-List.

Looking back, I realize I was binge-ing. Gorging myself. Trying to pack in as many new experiences and partners as I could as quickly as possible.

Before I die.

I've since eased up - that's an amazing pace even for a slut like me. But in the process, I learned a lot about myself. I realized that my father's 8 months in the hospital and nearly dying 3 times and having to ask him if he wanted to end his life (thankfully his answer was NO), had affected me deeply. And I also realized that my cousin, 1 year older than me, dying from cancer only 1 year after having been diagnosed - that affected me. Deeply.

The lesson - Do it NOW because you may DIE tomorrow.

And also, since then, I've found that, having had all of that, I don't have to have those things anymore. But I've also come to understand that I must have continued intensity. Do nothing half-way. Life is to be lived. Fully. A bumper sticker I saw recently "Don't Postpone Joy."

Yeah. That.

Have I screwed up along the way? Absolutely. I'm human, and I've become selfish in a way I never have been before. My kids remain on the top of my priorities, that's a absolute. But my sex life?

I have to be selfish.

I may die tomorrow.

Yes, I am a Slut

For those who haven't visited for awhile, or are just not paying attention, I've changed the name of my blog back to its original name. (Actually, I did this several months ago, but whatever.)

Yes, I am a Slut.

Now, back to your regular raunchy reading.

Slut Talk

Warning, random ramblings ahead...

Last night I had dinner and drinks with a good friend of mine, K. She and I have similar views on many things and I knew she could be trusted with my true slut nature. As the evening unfolded and we consumed more drinks, we talked very frankly and honestly and with a lot of humor and sometimes pain. I revealed a lot of my adventures over the past almost-year, we both discussed issues with being married and having children and still being a slut. She doesn't like the word "slut", thinks it's too harsh. I just laughed - I long ago embraced my Slut and made her mine.

Among the topics of conversation was an attempt by me to explain the vast differences between sex with a man and with a woman - besides the obvious lack of a penis, unless someone dons a strap-on. The incredible softness of a woman's skin, the touch of her breasts against mine, going down (reallly well) and receiving (damnnnn) - her hair on my stomach and thighs. All incredibly sensual and wonderful in their way.

She nodded in understanding and then said that she could see really enjoying that, but at the end, she, and other bisexual friends of hers, really adored the weight of a man on her. Oh hell yeah. In the end, the sensation of being completely covered by a heavy, strong body, is something I crave and love. Oddly comforting, given that his weight is enough that I would be hard-pressed to move him, so I'm completely overwhelmed and rather helpless under him. But safe. Protected.

Another topic was, at our age (she's mid-40's, I'm 48), we want Manly Men. A man that makes us feel protected. Someone who would not only be willing to fight for us, but would win as well. And that doesn't mean just physically, but mentally as well. In our 20's, we both agreed that those men were Not It. No, we were both independent, smart women quite capable of taking care of ourselves, thank you very much. Now, give me a guy that exudes testosterone, please. But not a jack-ass, there is a huge difference. And he better be able to fuck me, as well as "make love". But more of the former, please.

We also discussed marriage and the difficulties therein. Women like her and me, we aren't inclined to put up with a lot of crap for very long. Not like my parents - dear gods, I'd have been long gone with some of the stuff either my mother or my father pulled. But now, they are elderly and together. So, dilemma. Am I going to end up the single old lady in the retirement home, sharing good ole Jack with all the other single old ladies? B tells me he looks forward to being the stud of the retirement village - there being few men who live that long, they are in high demand by the women.

Another very good friend of mine has said she feels that mid-life should be a time when married people get time off for good behavior, to go and fuck their brains out with whomever they want, but in the end, they know their partner will be there for old age. K agreed - her husband is the guy she wants to grow old with, but damn she'd like some time off. But, she knows that she doesn't share well and needs monogamy. Yet another dilemma. Her husband has broached the possibility of swinging/swapping with her, but she's not really thrilled with the idea.

DH told me that he thinks I may just be a Bachelorette - best seeing someone for a few years and then parting, hopefully amicably and finding a new adventure. Sexual ADD? I know my record thus far - making it a total of 15 years with 2 husbands before needing more - supports the idea of Bachelorette. K called it serial monogamy. Not quite right as I do enjoy 3-somes and other kinky-ness, but close. And if I could find it, a true polyamorous 3-some would be wonderful. But I'm not actively looking for that. I have enough other drama in my life without inviting more.

Right now, I'm just enjoying the NOW and not trying to predict the future. My crystal ball has a fault line in it.

Fluidity

This weekend I played with my now-steady lover, B. We both enjoy very rough, intense sex and for the first time ever, I'm totally wrung out when he's done with me. Incredible feeling, to actually not want more.

This time, we explored more, including some new positions/combinations that we had not before (hard to find those, these days LOL). He pushed my limits of flexibility until I knew I would ache for days afterwards. Delicious.

One position, however, totally shocked me with its results. Me on my back, legs raised up to where my knees were near my ears, ass in the air. Well, not in the air exactly as B was filling it up with his cock, but squatting on his feet, rather than on his knees. The angle was exquisite and he actually hit my g-spot, through my ass. My eyes rolling back in orgasmic agony, head throw back, probably moaning so loud it might be called screaming... and suddenly I felt a splash of liquid on my chest and cheek. Another stroke from B and another splatter... What the hell????

I looked down at us and realized I was ejaculating. Squirting. Oh. My. GODS. I soaked us both and he grinned in smug pleasure as I lost it, full out screaming-until-I'm-hoarse, tearing-his-back-with-my-nails, grip-my-entire-body orgasm, until I finally fell back on the pillows gasping for air. At this point, he withdrew and went to the sink to wash off for more fun while I curled up on my side and tried to absorb what had just happened.

Contrary to some misconceptions, this was not urine. Nope, came out of my pussy in a stream. I've done this one time before, when a playmate used his fingers to expertly coax me into squirting and, yes, soaking the towel he'd thoughtfully put under us. I've had other playmates tell me I did so, but I suppose it must have been when they were going down on me because I never realized it.

But this... was so unexpected, I was totally shocked and, to be honest, a bit embarrassed. He's since assured me that he enjoyed it, but I'm still trying to get past it. Women don't spray, right... that's the guy's response, not the woman's.

Yet another way I am a FREAK. In a good way. Right??

TabuToys Affiliate

The folks at TabuToys have added an Affiliate program and I have an account, how fun is that? So if you click on my link to get to TabuToys, I get a commission. Very cool. I've put a permanent link on the right side as well.

Free toys AND a little cash... Life is good!

TabuToys Review: Book Review of "Slave to Love"

The folks at TabuToys.com have sent me a few books to review and the first I'll tell you about is Slave to Love: Sexy Tales of Erotic Restraint, edited by Alison Tyler.

I love this book! Each of the stories is well written, no amatuer hour here. The stories range in intensity of their BDSM play, some are downright mild and others may go farther than some readers will be comfortable with. Each of the stories definitely conveys the depths of pleasure of all participants, the consensual nature of BDSM and some even the love between the people in the stories. The relationships between the people also range from long-term partners well practiced in Dominance/submission and Master/slave to couples just discovering the need in each other, to meeting during the story and connecting as the story progresses. Men mastering women, women over men, women together... many variations, each related with much sensual exploration and erotic detail.

Picking a favorite would be very difficult, so I won't try. Several stood out for me, however: An Ordinary Love and Without Mercy are 2. But with the variety offered in the 20 stories, finding a favorite is an enjoyable time.

Double Fantasy

In all my play over the past months, there remains an experience on my "list" that hasn't happened. So what follows is pure fiction...

****

My knock on the hotel room door was a bit more timid than usual... My lover opened the door and growled at me "You are late." I lowered my eyes in dismay, until his hand gripped my hair and raised my face for my mouth to meet his. Lips pressing against mine, forcing me to open my mouth to yield to his, his tongue thrusting inside and my stomach flipped, my pussy flooding, my knees weakening... He raised his head and his brown eyes smiled with satisfaction. He gripped the back of my neck and pulled me into the dark room, closing the door behind me.

He spun me to face the door and I felt a silk cloth on my face, covering my eyes as he tied it firmly behind my head. "Strip," he commanded and I complied quickly, dropping my clothes to the floor beside the door. When I was naked, he took my wrists in one hand and brusquely led me into the room, shoving me onto the bed. I sprawled onto my back with a gasp, then another as my wrists were gripped and my ankles as well, spreading me on the bed. Soft rope encircled each and I was tugged and pushed firmly into place, helpless... and my pussy dripped onto the cool sheet under me.

I jumped and groaned as each of my nipples were sucked into a hot mouth, 2 tongues swirling around the hard peaks, lips pulling as I squirmed beneath them, my back arching to press them more firmly into the quivering mounds. I moaned as they sucked, then a hand moved down my stomach, past my navel, down onto my hips and I held my breath as it trickled across the small patch of hair above my slit. Another hand swept down my other side and onto my inner thigh, my legs spreading on their own, as much as the ropes would allow.

Fingers moved from my pubic patch into my slit, dipping into my moisture, then spreading my folds open. Still the mouths pulled and sucked on my nipples and my body writhed under them. The second hand crept up my thigh and now more fingers explored my wet crevices and I groaned as he pressed inside me deeply with a finger, then another. The first hand flicked over my clit and I arched my hips up, begging for more. The fingers drew on my clit, stroking it gently, firmly, as the ones inside me curled and stroked, finding my g-spot and the sudden intense burning orgasm began to shudder along my pussy. Their pace quickened and my lungs struggled to breathe, the clenching arching along my body... then pain flashed through me from my nipples, gripped in their teeth, and I screamed.

They bit and rolled the peaks as their fingers continued to torture my clit and then the pain from my breasts flared down my body and into my clit and I came, straining hard against my bonds, against their mouths and fingers, grinding my clit into their hands as the spasms shook me. Relentless, the mouths sucked on my sore nipples as tremors continued, fingers pulled on my clit as it throbbed, so sensitive that if I could have pulled my legs together, I would have, but I was helplessly bound and could only beg them to stop.

Finally relenting, they eased from me and I felt them untie my ropes. I lay panting, my arms and legs limp from my climax. They pulled me onto one side then the bed sagged beside me, then I was tugged on top of a man, his smooth chest and stomach hard beneath me, his cock, hot steel, pressing onto my clit. Once again my arms were spread and bound as I lay on him, my cheek pressed to his chest. When I was secure, the man below me lifted my hips and thrust his cock deep inside me and I sucked in my breath at the sudden invasion, then moaned at the fullness. His thighs spread my legs until I was forced onto my knees and he pumped into me, chuckling at my wet juice streaming down his cock.

"Our little slut wants more, I think," my lover's voice rumbled behind me, and I felt the bed dip again, then my ass was raised. His tongue seared my ass and I gasped at the sensation, hot and soft, probing into me, thrusting into me in time with the cock in my pussy. Fingers dipped into my pussy juice, then I felt one finger invade my anus and I groaned as my sense of being filled grew. Another finger and I felt as though I would surely explode, but he wasn't done yet. I heard a snap of a bottle lid then the slick sounds of him stroking his lubed cock and I braced myself for what I knew what coming. The man below me stilled.

"Relax, little slut," my lover behind me demanded as he pressed his cock to my opening. I shuddered, still tense, unsure. SMACK! his hand hit my ass and I gasped and jumped at the shock of it. Once again, the pain flared from the impact spot, flaming across my entire body and my clit shuddered, begging for more. I expelled a deep breath, willing myself to yield all to him and he pressed inside. A scream tore from my mouth at the sharp burn of his thick cock spreading me open in spite of his fingers' work. So thick at the base, it would have taken more than 2 fingers to match the girth I now had embedded in me.

Slowly, he pulled back slightly, then pressed in again, deeper this time. My hands clawed at the sheet and I pressed my face into the chest below me, stifling another scream. Another stroke, then another and abruptly my body accepted them both and the glorious fullness overcame me and I groaned with pleasure. My lover sank his full length into my ass and I pressed back into him, gasping as the cock in my pussy began to stroke as well.

Together at first, the 2 men thrust with the same rhythm and I reveled in the fullness, the heads of their cocks spreading me, filling me, stroking my pussy, my clit, their balls meeting in the space between. I began to convulse, unable and unwilling to hold back my orgasm as they forced it from me. Their pace quickened, and they began to alternate and the pulsing rhythm crashed over me, drawing me higher and higher until I heard my voice crying out with the height and the never-relenting convulsions within. My abdomen clenched and tightened and I felt myself bearing down on them and impossibly they swelled inside of me, filling me until I thought I might explode with the fierceness. My eyes rolled back under my blindfold as my body clenched, gripping the 2 cocks hard.

Over and over they pounded, their rhythms becoming one, both of their hand on my hips and thighs holding me in place for their thrusts. Their breathing became ragged and moans from them joined mine. My lover leaned down onto me, his stomach against my ass as he rode me, his pace faster and more furious, hard, rocking the 3 of us together as he strained into me. His groan became a shout as his cock pumped his cum into my ass and the man below me arched up into me, slamming himself deep and he grunted with each thrust as his cock poured his seed into my pussy. I heard one last screaming cry come from my own mouth as my cunt and ass sucked both of them dry, pulling every drop they had deep into me.

My lover withdrew and collapsed next to me. The man below reached up and untied my hands, then rolled me from him and rose from the bed. I heard the bathroom door close as I lay panting and limp, blindfold still in place. Water ran, the door re-opened, cloth rustled, then the room door opened and shut, and I was alone with my lover. He removed my blindfold, pulling me close with my head on his shoulder. Tilting my chin up, he smiled into my blinking, drowsy eyes, then kissed me deeply.

****

Some day.

Freedom!

As I mentioned previously, I've had a partial hysterectomy in mid-February (uterus and 1 ovary gone, icky tumor/cyst/whatever-the-fuck-it-was benign and now also gone). I've just had my 6-week check and I'm fully healed. But I knew that. I have to say this was an amazingly easy process. It was all done through my abdomen, luckily. Within a week I was back into my own pants, all bloating gone, minimal ouchies in my abdomen. I returned to the gym for very light exercise and careful stretching. By 3 weeks, I was enjoying myself some careful sex (oral and anal, mmmmm). By 4 weeks, (mostly) gentle vaginal sex. And now... let her rip, lover, pound me hard.

I've talked to other women who haven't had such an easy time of it and I know I have stacked a few odds in my favor. First, I'm in great physical condition. I'm 5'6" and a hard 123 pounds. I actually have dropped to 120 but am working it back up. I lift weights at least 2 times a week, 3 if I can get it, and I do cardio then as well. I don't eat a lot of crap (chips, cookies, etc.) - I didn't say I don't eat any of it, just not a lot. In other words, I take care of my body... my temple to myself and my entry to sexual ecstasy.

I also know that I'm lucky to have been able to keep 1 ovary (and my cervix), and hence have not been thrown into menopause early. I have my own natural hormones keeping me horny and wet. But I'm also not afraid to break out the lube, nor are my lovers.

My ability to have multiple orgasms hasn't changed at all. Some of my intense, hard orgasms seem to make my entire abdomen clench and throb. Makes me wonder what exactly is throbbing in there, since my uterus is gone, but whatever it is... HELL YEAH.

I do notice my hormone levels/PMS/general bitchiness has changed in it's cyclic frequency. My skin breaks out at odd times. I've quickly lost track of what part of my cycle I'm in since I don't have a period anymore. My first "not-a-period period" passed with me barely noticing it - a slight pink tinge once that I saw only because I was looking for it. I've given away most of my leftover feminine products. I am no longer counting days when planning weekend getaways or "playdates".

I'm FREE!

Focus...

Focus, elusive minx... trying to focus... but I keep hearing a voice growling in my ear...

... your voice telling me how I'm yours, your whore to fuck, your slave to use

... your hand on my head, shoving me down to take your cock in my mouth

... your voice demanding that I lick your balls and ohhhh the agony of the desire to lick your shaft as well but staying where you'd told me to be

... the glory of finally wrapping my lips around your cock and sucking you deep into my throat and your groan of pleasure at what I am giving

... smelling us together, your sweat and my juice... your cum on my body with my sweat... our taste on my tongue

... your hands in my hair, holding me tight against your mouth... your mouth on my nipples... the taste of your nipple on my tongue as your energy floods into me with each suck

... your palm on my ass, sharp and startling, then the flare as the heat spreads over me, straight into my gut and around my clit

... your mouth on my clit, pulling and sucking and driving me insane, my hand tangling in your hair to press you closer, clawing your back as the fire grips me and I shudder and scream as your fingers press inside me, pressing and flicking inside me, inside me... inside... me... in...

... the taste of me on your lips as your tongue plunders mine

... your weight pushing my hips down, my legs up, holding my arms down, flipping me over and around to maximize your pleasure

... your ropes around my wrists and ankles, spreading me open for your use, allowing me to surrender to you completely, helpless and yours to use, as you wish, nothing barred

...the insane heat as you pound into me over and over and over until I am one unending orgasmic being, existing only from stroke to stroke

... your cock deep in my ass over and over until I expand to take you fully and die with each thrust, die the little death that lets me feel my inner being, that primal human that is only made of sensation

... your cock inside me, owning me, filling me, filling my mind and my body until I exist only in that small space between my legs

... your voice growling in triumph as your seed pours into me, onto me, down my throat, over my lips, deep inside my body...

Focusssssss

Pondering my Slutty Navel

This is something I tend to read and re-read over the past few months. Pondering my slutty navel, so to speak. I found the following on a website and it definitely describes me:

I want it all. I want sex atop the Himalayas. I want cherry blossom sex in Japan. I want to expand, explore and explode. I want to feel the cosmic universe by meeting you, all of you. I want them all, on a plate to be eaten as a cosmic gourmet buffet; I want all the tastes melting as truth enlightens me, while I surrender the weight of my body into the smells of the skin of others. I am as hungry for orgasmic wisdom as I am for having sexes in my mouth and skins under my teeth. I ask for it all, and as much as I want, I am willing to give back to my lovers, as they are the cosmic stars of my voraciousness. I am such a laugh, such a gift. The energy I bring into meeting the other is overwhelming, overboard, even abrasive, but I do bring something joyful into other people’s lives. Others enjoy me devouring them.

My willingness to give can get me anything I want. The universe is generous with me in proportion to the quality of my giving. I am fortunate. But, enough is never enough, and even if I have what I want, the possibility of missing more delicious, subtle, delicate, tasty, sensuous bodies and souls fuels back my desire, and my need grows bigger; larger. I need the diversity the universe has to offer: it allows me to feel change from my static nature, and then I can dance, shift and move through others in me. By allowing them to be near, and to be able to swallow and smell their different energies I can get the feeling of mutating, shifting. Then, when I come back to myself, I experience the lack of it all. This is why I sail my way by selling my ways to others. I seduce. And by seducing I act as an actor, and a part of me keeps missing something, and this is the core of my hunger, of my voraciousness.

With time I learn that my expectations can be so high that their unattainable quality is what fuels the empty hole in my erotic stomach. I have a long-lived contract with frustration. Behind the lover that I am lies a deep feeling of not being able to relate with reality; because reality feels like settling for less. Having many options open is my way of handling frustration. Do I really handle it?

I need to find my core value. I need to learn to feel satisfaction within my own core self, without feeling starvation, or the lack of something bigger and better. Others are more than energy or fuel to me, they are gods and goddesses, friends and teachers that like me are learning the dance of life: which is to be human.

Humanity has a painful quality to me, as I am more connected with the idea of god, than the human. I connect with the god quality in others, forgetting that like me they are human. Do I ask too much of others? Of myself?

Advice for the Horny Guys Looking for Fun

I've had a few guys ask me for advice on meeting sluts like me for fun and play. This is one of my replies and I figured I could share it. The man I wrote this to was in his early 20's, so keep that in mind, but it really does apply to men in general.

First off, yes, it's easier for women who want to find a playmate. My biggest advice to you on that one is, well, get over that. It's something you can't change but you should remember. Because it's easier, we can be picky. Do not whine about it to the women. We can't change it either, but we do enjoy it.

Women, mostly, need some kind of connection in order to play. Some guy sending me a cock shot and asking me if I want to go for it with him may not even get a reply. Show me part of your personality and we're starting somewhere.

I used a swinger website to meet like-minded people. (NOTE: I'm not putting the name of the one I used in this post, but email me if you want a suggestion.) Some you can try out in a very limited way for free, others you must pay before you can even look. I used one of the former. There are definitely other, non-swinger sites around, like adultFriendFinder, but the class of people you'll meet is higher with the swinger sites (ymmv, always, people are rude everywhere). Forget the "dating" websites, like Match.com at all, unless you are looking to get married.

Speaking of getting married, I'll be honest - when I was in my 20's, marriage is what I wanted. Yeah, I liked sex, a lot, but I was looking for Mr. Right. I'm sure you've found that a lot of women are and you need to be up front right off the bat that you aren't or you're gonna waste time and hurt feelings - your and hers. So, I'd also recommend going for older women - 35 and up. We are typically more accepting of sex for fun and not looking for love - but always be honest.

There are also "lifestlye" nightclubs in many cities now. You can find them via swinger websites. They are very good for meeting people, but I'll caution that many of your potential playmates will be women that are part of a couple. Don't let that deter you, but you must MUST learn to be ultra respectful of the husband. Talk to him FIRST, before her. They may want you to play with her and him - doesn't mean he is bi or gay, but that she gets 2 men. That can be a hard-on melter for some guys, so if you can deal with another cock in the same room, you're ahead of others.

There are also some on-premise sex clubs and hotels in many cities, but many will not allow a single guy in without a woman. Last bit of advice - if you have the rock-hard abs that many 21 year old guys have... keep them. Women want a sexy boy-toy, not a paunchy beer-bellied jerk.

I am a Freak...

I'm coming to understand that in the world of women and sex, I'm a bit of a freak. "In a good way" as one of my playmates says, but still, the percentage of women who approach sex like I do are far outnumbered by those who do not.

I can indeed have sex without being in love with my partner or partners. Very good sex, in fact. Wring me out until I'm limp sex, which, in my opinion is the very best kind. And just plain fun sex. I have a couple of playmates who are just friends and there is no potential for it to go any farther than that, and we still enjoy the heck out of each other. Damn, that's fun. Don't get me wrong - we have "connected" and there is chemistry between us, and the sex is often intense. But I'm not in love with him... or her (yeah, that's hot, isn't it, guys). Freaky for a woman.

I also prefer my sex delivered with force, in other words, intense. Not soft. Not gentle. Not tender. I'm not a masochist - I don't like a lot of pain, but a guy grabbing my hair while he kisses me hard, damn that's hot. Riding me hard, smack my ass a few times, pinch a nipple, bite my neck, yeah, bring it on. I even love a bit of sexual domination, BDSM-style. Tie me up/down and use me... hell yeah. Freaky.

I adore anal sex, love it when a guys cums in my mouth (uh not in that order, please, unless you've washed off really well), and will lick a man or woman anywhere they want (gotta be clean, though). I'm totally cool with 3-somes and the tongue anywhere still applies (yeah, guys, got a twitch out of you, I bet). I cum for-freaking-ever, over and over and over and the well never runs out. Might need lube after a couple of hours, though. But if he can keep going, so can I. Freak!

I am one of those rare women who is confident, in great physical shape, has a job, owns a home, has kids and DH and is not looking for Prince Charming to take me away. I am open to a strong connection that does lead to more, as I'm polyamorous, but I'm not open to something that is 24/7, move out of my home, support me forever (welllll lemme rethink that one LOL), etc. FREAK!

But in a "good" way.

Other women who are Freaks in a Good Way, or guys who have one, please chime in. It feels lonely out here sometimes!

Squeezing some fun into the hectic times: Toy Review!

I haven't had much time to post lately but I made some time to test out this toy from www.tabutoys.com. Here it is, the Triple Treat Lady Bug vibrator:

I was very excited to try this one out. I've always wanted to see what a triple vibe would do for me, and I was also hoping it could replace my trusty rabbit. Unfortunately, I wasn't as enthralled as I'd hoped I'd be.

The anal probe is very slender, which is great for novices, but for an anal slut like me, it barely registers. It also is very tight to the main shaft of the vibe, so removing the vibe means that you are either done or you have to go wash it off - anal stuff getting on the main shaft = not going back into the pussy until cleaned.

The clit vibe is good, but not excellent - it's a bit too short and stiff and rode too high on me, not hitting the lower part of my clit where I get the biggest bang. Shoving it in far enough to press the base of the clit vibe onto my clit was quite satisfactory, however.

The main shaft is pleasing and soft and the rotation is interesting. It does advertise as water-proof so could go into the bathtub. I didn't have a chance to try it out that way, however. Darnit. Dammit. That is definitely on my list of things to try. The main shaft isn't huge, so again a good thing for novices.

The controls are fairly straightforward and simple, which is good.

Overall, a fun toy to have, but it is a bit intimidating when you pull it out of the box. One playmate of mine took a look and put it back in the toybag, not wanting to try it on me LOL It did deliver a nice hard orgasm very quickly, but more were hard to get, which is saying something on a easy-cum slut.

Toy Review: Don't Forget the Lube!! And Get it Smoooooth

http://www.tabutoys.com/ sent me a variety of lubricants and shaving supplies to try out. Mmmm what fun.

The first is System JOH20, a water-based lube that is good for use with toys. Effective and slippery at the start, washed off fine with water. For playing with a silicone toy, this one is good, but I did want to reapply after a while. I didn't like it as much for use with a playmate, though. I do like it better than AstroGlide, however. I do like the flip-top.The next is Back Door by Eros, an anal lube. It claims to not just provide lubrication but also loosen and relax. I found it very effective and the lubrication it offers is good for anal sex as well. I used it first with my large, 6" circumference butt plug, and then with a thick partner. Mmm, yeah. And the name perks up their interest as well. Ride on!

The last lube I tried is Eros Body Glide. This one is silicone-based, so it's not suitable for use with toys containing silicone. However, as a skin lube, this one ROCKS. It is soooo slick and has great staying power. Never got sticky and feels soooo good. Taste is acceptable, rather like any common kitchen oil. Made my skin feel super soft, too. The top is a screw-off, however, and this stuff is so slick on your hands that getting the lid on or off after you have it on your hands is challenging. I'd prefer a flip-top. (Note: the Back Door also has a screw-off lid... bummer.) This one made for an awesome handjob with a bit of fellatio mixed in. Ohhh my yes, my recipient was definitely liking this lube!

Note that all of these bottles are bigger than the 3 oz allowed on carry-on baggage. You'll have to put it in a smaller bottle or check it.

The last item they sent is a Coochy Travel Shave Kit of shaving lotions and after-shave spray. All specially formulated for your intimate areas. Nice!
The travel kit has 3 scents of shaving lotion, so I got to test them all. Pear-Berry was my least favorite (the pink one). I'm just not into smelling like fruit. Green tea smells nice and fresh. The Regular is also a nice light floral/powder, very mild scent. As a shaving product, it's nice. Very slick and feels good going on. I also tried it on my legs and wasn't as pleased with those results as with the pubic area. It does great on the armpits, however. The travel bottles all have flip-tops, which is nice. The full-size ones have a pump, which would be better for regular shower use, but for travel, the flip-lids are good.

The after-spray is very pleasant and cooling and left my skin feeling soft and smooth. I haven't had any razor rash develop since I started using it, which is a very good thing. The scent is mild and light. I actually really like this stuff as I have trouble with razor rash occasionally. I even knicked myself badly and it soothed that and the area healed quickly.

The Last Cycle

Today, my last cycle commenced. Some time around the end of the month, I'll be having the plumbing removed and hence will not have this more-than-monthly pain in the puss. I can't tell you how much I'm looking forward to having it done. I started cycling in 8th grade, age 13. I think 34 years of bloody monthlies - minus the 1.5 year or so gap for pregnancy and post time - is more than plenty. Freedome from all the trappings will be wonderful. Not having to carry an emergency spare just in case... or having it fail, how lovely. And being able to to plan a trip any time I want and not try to guess which weekend will be my down-weekend, 5 months ahead of time. I'm so ready. One of my good friends is also womb-less and highly recommends it. And she promised me that the orgasms are just as good as before. Yay!

So, here's to My Last Cycle. May it complete soon and be gone henceforth! WOOT!

Review of Andonis G-Spot Clit Vibrator

http://www.tabutoys.com/ sent me the Adonis G-Spot and Clitoral Stimulator to try out and review. Yay!


I think I'll come to love this vibrator. I had an iffy start with it, either I'd drank too much or the pressure of having DH watching, waiting to see my reaction was too much and also I was undoubtedly accustomed to my previous vibrator. In any case, my first round with it was frustrating as I struggled to get the tip on my G-spot and the nubbins on my clit and manipulate the remote, with slippery hands from the lube... I had build-up but no where near close to finishing off. I had DH slide his cock in with it, which I thought would press it harder against my G-spot... it felt great! but I still didn't get off. DH did though and loved it LOL



So for my 2nd round, I was alone. I experimented a bit slower with the different settings - separate G-spot vibe versus clit vibe. I was more patient. I still had trouble getting the tip of the vibe onto my G-spot (yes, I do know where it is ;) I finally focused on the clit vibe alone and relaxed and got a good result, nice low-to-medium climax that left me smiling.


The 3rd round... yeah. The G-spot vibe is still not doing much for me, but the clit-vibe is very very good. I started with the low level, letting it build me up a bit, then I stepped up through the settings - Medium, High, Roller Coaster, Pulse, Stair Stepper and SuperSpeed. (The G-Spot just has Low, Medium, High, in case you were wondering.) Fast Pulse rocks as does Stair Stepper, and between those 2, I came medium-hard after letting it tease me for a bit, riding the edge. I also found that the place where the remote cords go into the vibe is a perfect place for me to put a finger and wriggle it back and forth a bit, adding to the stimulation. I'd love to have a constant Stair-Step setting - the small bit of stuttering it does I could do without, but it's still good.

In spite of the deep curve and flexibility of the vibe, the G-spot vibe just isn't there for me. In order to press the clit vibe to me firmly, I can't also keep the G-spot pressed in well. The finger indentations on the outside curve doen't help much once you've applied lube - the whole thing is soft and slippery. Perhaps the G-spot tip is too large - this isn't a slender vibe, although not huge either. It would probably intimidate a vibrator newbie, however, and the controls are a little frustrating - a master ON/OFF would be an improvement, rather than having to step through the settings to get to OFF. The battery case is tight to get off and one side of the battery insertion is very tight as well - I was afraid I would crack something as it took considerable force to get the battery to click into place.

The website says it's a bit loud. I didn't find it so loud, especially once inside me. I wasn't afraid of anyone else hearing outside the room - it's no louder than my previous vibe. Texture is nice and soft and I love the purple color. It's not shaped like a penis, just softly rounded. The manufacturer doesn't bill it as waterproof, so I was cautious in washing it. You definitely want to remove the batteries between uses because the control buttons are super-sensitive and it'll turn on unexpectedly with the slightest touch.

The packaging also included instructions and a little bag for storage. Nice packaging, well done. Instructions in many languages I don't speak as well.

I'm pleased with it and will use it more, and probably keep trying that g-spot vibe just because I'm stubborn.

Tidbits: Toys and Deep Throat (not at the same time)

Now that the holiday madness is finally over, time to breathe again, and to post again, I hope.

I received my new toy and have tried it out twice. I'll give it another round before I post my review, but I'm finding it odd trying out a new one - guess I really got used to the rhythm of the Ravenous Rabbit and have had to get rid of those expectations before I could get into the new one. And it's definitely time for a new one - the battery lid on the Rabbit doesn't stay closed and will unexpectedly pop open, ejecting the batteries at the MOST inopportune moments. Grrr

One of the novelettes I've read recently, "Blackmailed", has an interesting sequence in it during which the female lead is given instructions on how to Deep Throat by her lover. During the instructions, he tells her to relax her throat and realize she can breathe, that just because her mouth is blocked doesn't mean her nose isn't.

Hmm.

Maybe I don't Deep Throat very well, as I have not found it possible to get air to go down a passage that is filled with a cock. Often, the action has swollen the head of the cock to a size that will barely go into my throat, but basic anatomy should tell even the most ignorant that, since the breath travels down the throat, if it's blocked, ain't no air gettin down there.

Obviously I need to try this more. ;-) Oh the poor victims. LOL