Hanging by a .... chain

My arrival to B's was later than I'd wanted it to be, so I was a bit stressed when I first walked through the door. I also had to pee, the long drive trying my bladder, so I hurried to the bathroom to take care of that, carefully washing my pussy in case B attacked me right away. When I was done, B was sitting on the couch by the window, so I joined him.

"Did you notice?" he asked me with a devilsh grin.

Eek, a test! New haircut? no... Same rug... Great fire in the fireplace... I turned a bit further as he grinned bigger ...

And I saw the chains. Two massive lengths of chains, hanging from the huge log beams of his ceiling. Not small chains, oh my no. Hell no. These could be used to haul an anchor for a large ship. Or hang your lover from the ceiling. And oh, look, he has some wonderfully strong and soft wrist cuffs, my my my. Yes, those do fit well... and the clips fits into the chains quite well... and I am quite unable to move much at all, hung up this way...

My legs spread for balance, nipples thrust out helplessly, clit open to his touch, cunt open to his fingers and cock, ass ready for a smack or two... or more... as is my pussy and my breasts... And dear gods, he has the new vibrator, and he's rather relentless with it. With his cock inside me, one hand reaching around to press the vibrator to my clit and another hand pinching my perky nipples... his mouth biting and licking my ears as he fucks me... Is my cum running down my legs yet?

Sagging in exhaustion from the chains, I couldn't help but smile at him and his deliciously deviant mind... and drill.

So he released me... sort of. Easing me down until I was on my knees, then he clipped in my wrists again, leaving me hanging at the perfect height to fuck my mouth. Ohhhhh yeahhhh.

Then releasing me again, telling me to go to his bed. I staggered the short distance and crept onto the mattress. "On your back" he demanded, and I complied. My wrists were quickly clipped together above my head and around one of the log beams of his bed and then my ankles wrapped in rope and strung up next to my wrists, my ass now wide open, pussy towards the ceiling. Again, the tortuous vibrator, alternating with his mouth. My screams of ecstasy and agony. Hands smacking on my ass, cock in my pussy as I use the ropes for leverage and rock up to meet his thrusts and he's near cuming, shuddering into me, then he lets my limbs free to wrap around him as he pumps hard into me and at the last moment withdraws to spray my prone body, cum splattering me, the last spurt engulfed by my lips as he drags my head up by my hair to meet his cock...

I am so fucking in love.

Product Review! Miracle Massager & G-spot Accessory

The TabuToys.com folks sent me both of these great toys to try out and review. My eternal thanks. I love these.

By itself, the Miracle Massager is amazing, wonderful, holy shit yeah. Forget a battery-operated anything, this tops them all. It's powerful, Oh. My. Gods. It's long, 11 inches, but the curved handle made it easy for me to use and put right where I wanted it. A bit of water-based lube and I could slide it all over my clit and it brought me to a fast rocking climax. The head is soft and doesn't crush, but it's so powerful and relentless that I was almost helpless under it. The vibration is strong enough that it shakes my entire pussy, labia, clit... everything. It has 2 speeds, easily changes between them with a convenient switch on the shaft, and OFF is also easily done. High speed is too much to start with and I nearly flinch away from Low - best to ease it slowly up my leg until it gets near my pussy. But it's soooooo good, it shot to the top of my favorite list. When I told B about it, he demanded I bring it to his place where it's now permanently kept and used to wring orgasm after orgasm from me - which is another post.

Combined with his cock - impossible not to cum, nor to control when I cum.

This accessory takes an amazing toy to a new level, which is high praise. It's ultra-soft and the nubs on the arms and tip of this are wonderful. The arms spread the vibration up over my clit so nothing is lost, and the tip slid into my vagina took me hard. It doesn't hit my g-spot unless I tilt it hard and force it, but that doesn't stop this from being a fabulous addition and one I recommend. The shaft isn't too large, I think most women will find it comfortable. Sliding it onto the bulb of the massager took a bit of lube as it's a tight fit and didn't go on dry. Once on, it established a vacuum and didn't come off while I played. It's a great addition.

To summarize.... HELL YES.

Riding Into the Sunset

I'm on top, staring down into your eyes as I move, and you rise up to meet my body, my juice flowing down your cock. My hands grip your hard chest as I raise my hips then quickly stroke your cock with my pussy, moaning at the slick heat inside me. The head of your cock presses along my passage, a shallow stroke and I gasp as it slides onto my g-spot, the burn intense and searing.

Your fingers wriggle between us and I lean back a bit, my hands onto your thighs to allow you access to my throbbing clit. One of my hands slips between your legs to cup your balls, caress the tight sac. Your finger tease above my clit, carressing the engorged flesh above and beside my clit as my eyes widen and beg you, please. Panting I rise and move my hips over you, forcing your cock in and out of me, as my pussy burns for you, my panting growing quicker, more frantic as the arousal builds. Your fingers touch my clit and I scream with the heat. Your other hand slips up my body and fingers grip my nipple, hard, sharp pain coursing down into my clit as though your fingers are a circuit. My pussy gushes, hot slippery squirting onto your cock and balls, drenching the sheet and my eyes widen in shock at the sensation.

Your fingers on my nipple tighten further, pulling as I ride your cock, demanding I cum for you again. I watch as your fingers pull and my pussy clenches, the throbbing starting. You take your fingers from my clit and swiftly grasp my other nipple, energy flashing over me as the sensation engulfs my mind and I am merely a gasping screaming moaning woman, begging for release, our bodies slapping wetly together, faster, harder and I lean forward on you.

Faster, harder we thrust together and your fingers twist with a final pinch... and I scream as I cum, my body flooding yours again as I shudder over you, my fingers clawing your chest as the orgasm grips me hard and I'm unable to move, all muscles are tight and locked except my cunt, sucking on you hard as the waves wash over me. Your hand smacks my ass, hard, then both hands and I shudder again, renewed convulsions and I moan. Your hands wrap around my waist and you thrust hard, shoving your entire length deep into me, the thick base stretching my pussy so wide that I cry out in pleasure. You grip the back of my head, fist in my hair and force my face down to yours, mouths crashing together and your tongue thrusts deep into my mouth as I shudder with the last tremors.

My muscles begin to relax and I collapse to your chest and I feel you smile against my lips. "You are changing the sheets this time," you chuckle. Oh, gladly, very worth the price of laundry.

Delicious Nibbles

I was in Houston for a couple of days... and then drove to B's house last night in spite of a blizzard because we were both too stubborn to stay apart when we could spend a bit of time together.

Delicious cum pumped into my cunt, twice, and then lastly into my throat, at my begging for it. I changed his sheets for him as I again flooded them.

Snippets...

I didn't arrive to his house until nearly 10. He had dinner freshly cooked for me, having called me on the road to determine where I was on the road to time dinner correctly.

We slept wrapped together, my head on his shoulder, his arm around me, for a couple of hours this morning. An ache in my neck is now gone.

Hours on the telephone while I traveled... we've never spoken more than 5 minutes at a time previously. Our first phone sex as well... dear gods, his voice in my ear turned me on like no other.

Agreements that we will cease any swinging for the foreseeable future and focus on each other. Love has taken us over and we know how good and precious the sex is. We both have had many many... MANY playmates and we both realize how very very rare and special what we have together really is.

Heady Stuff

I was going to just post the hot picture and go to bed, but I have things churning in my head, erotic things that demand I write.

I am stunningly in love. How sappy is that, but it's so fucking hot and heady that I have to write it down to believe it. I told him I have been holding back, simply trying to enjoy what he could offer and not pine for the rest and he's starting to see it. I look into his eyes as he fucks the hell out of me and I don't try to turn away so he doesn't see the love blazing from my eyes. No, I let him see it full-on, that I need what he's doing, crave it and that I love him for giving it to me. And he wants that. I had trouble saying it at first... how funny is that? It tumbles off his lips easily now, but I have to force it from mine. But I do so as I realized he needs to hear it, he craves hearing it, is starved for it.

And that love manifests in such odd ways. Couples we talk with via email who might become playmates are discussed together. One woman has very large beautiful breasts but is not bisexual, clearly wants just him. And I tell him he must fuck those breasts and cum all over them because she wants it, shows them off often. And he laughs that I am saying "I love you, cum all over her tits."

Another couple is truly a mind fuck as they are both bisexual women... sort of. One is a "pre-op trangender, hormonally enhanced woman" - aka a woman born with a cock, who still has it, but also has breasts induced via hormones. She is gorgeous. B's previous interactions with transgendered people, and our previous play with a post-op transgendered woman (aka pussy created by Dr's, cock whacked off (cringe)), creates a kind of protectiveness in him towards "her"... but he's not sure he can play with her. That cock of hers, ya know. What a mind fuck : Her cock. Say what??? That ain't no strap-on, Margaret. Brace yourself, this could be a rough ride. But we are open-minded and going to meet this couple soon. Oh and her wife is a drop-dead 5'8" blonde to die for. Two beautiful bisexual woman, me and B. We'll see where it goes. DP from B and "her" is a definite probability. Oh my. And he has told me that, although they don't turn him on as much as they do me, he's going to enjoy the play because he knows I will... because he loves me, he'll give me to them to play with. And that "give me to them" is a mind-fuck of it's own, because that really is how our dynamic has evolved.

We've also committed our first sex-on-webcam for a couple in another state. They want to meet, are planning a trip to visit us. Wow, very flattering! So part of the getting-to-know-you-long-distance is via webcam. She is bi, he is straight, they are both sexy as hell, both rather dark black, and they want to play with B and me. Ummm, and the catch? I'll let you know. I can't wait to kiss her... and him.

And here's another hot photo for my faithful readers. Chained. In many ways.

Casting Shadows in the Sun

Las Vegas Rocking

Wow what an amazing 5 days. The night before we left I stayed with B and he uttered Those Three Words and blew me away, totally. I am no longer reservedly Ass-Over, I'm 100%. And it's glorious not holding anything back. The fear is gone, just like that. And I'm free. Whata mind fuck. I'll be posting about that in the near future. 100% trust is exhilarating. Just knowing he does... yeah that L word... that is HUGE for me. We discussed fear of loss and our similar backgrounds. It's HUGE for both of us.

Las Vegas was a blast. The Venus pool at Caesar's Palace is lovely, even with a group of college boys and another group of Jersey Tony-V's... it's all in the fun memory now. I sunbathed each day topless for hours, and hours, with B laying next to me, sharing music, drinks (non-alcoholic at the pool, he's a sunbathing PRO hahaha), and groping each other in the water as we cooled down. There were only a few other women going topless, but I didn't give a damn. I looked fucking FABulous. All that gym time paid off in spades. Heads turned, both male and female. (There was one wedding party that marched through to get applause and the Mother-in-Law turned her head, too... away hahaha!!!!!!!)

To the sultry sexy fun, however. We had a couple of busts, and Friday night was kind of, sort of one of them, but damn it was fun while it lasted. B and I seem to be attracting women named "Kat". It's becoming almost ludicrous, but makes it easier when cumming to remember her name. LOL There were several steaming phone calls and emails before we met at a bar near our room. Kat and her husband had a 2nd beer, took too long to consume them and I was steaming at the pussy, ready to kiss her deeply right then and there no matter who the hell was watching.

When we finally started to our room, Kat and I joined hands and positively strutted through the casino and we did more than turn just heads. Entire 360's by many men were observed. One man timed his "NICE!" just right so I could thank him with a grin as we passed. A couple of idiotic young men thought they'd get into our action - B was right there behind us to set the boys straight - ain't no messing with a 6'4" serious man when he yanks you back and says "NO TOUCHING." I strutted (B swears we skipped, how undignified) with confidence knowing he had my back. That was one of the highlights of the evening. That and making Ms Kat squirt all over my hand as I stroked her into a near-screaming orgasm.

There is also one very memorable morning when B hauled me into the bathroom, fist in my hair, and fucked my mouth in the shower, forcing me to squat before him with my head in a corner. Dear gods, how fucking hot that was as he started to lose control and fucked me hard. And another incredibly intense moment when he bent me over the jacuzzi bath and fucked my ass so hard I was shaking and begging for mercy because my legs no longer seemed to be working, I'd cum so hard... each slam into my ass had me shuddering and nearing collapse. He showed no mercy. Apparently, we love fucking in the bathroom in hotels :)

B and I also took some incredibly HOT pictures which I will share a few of me in the coming weeks.

We found we are nearly perfect traveling companions - rising very late, lazing around a pool allllllllllll day and taking things easy. And oogling the women ;) He laughed at one point "I'm not in trouble now, am I?" to which I replied "Only for not alerting me earlier!" Ba-da-DUM!

We are now plotting our next vacation to someplace sunny with a topless pool. We are both addicted :) And he's shared pictures of us, together, with some friends of his. Oh my. :)

Happy sigh.

Oral Slut...

Shopping was superbly fun, and my credit card reflects it. More honest discussions of future, expectations... I think he is feeling more freedom to discuss these with me now that I'm Single. And it's all good, wonderful and honest. Very honest. Our interactions have raised us to a new level of intimacy, which is rather astounding, given how intense we have been thus far.

Tonight I'm at home without him and I desperately crave his cock in my mouth. I look at photos we took of each other and my tongue can feel the texture, the heat, the curves, the ridges, the veins... I feel the tip of my tongue slide through his slit and his shudder of pleasure. My lips descending over the head, spreading slowly, tightly, to suck the hot bulge into my mouth, past the ridge where my tongue can then swirl around him, savoring the change in texture under the head. His hand grips my long hair, pulling it back so he can watch my lips engulf his cock, worship it, savor the treasure he has for me.

My lips part further, and I pause to lick them, more saliva to wet his shaft as my tongue tastes the velvet steel. Again my tongue swirls around him, feeling the veins and ridges as I slowly circle his cock and he moans in appreciation, the his hand is on the back of my hand, forcing me down so that hot head slides down to the back of my mouth, over the base of my tongue and down into my throat. While I can still breathe, I flick my tongue up his shaft inside my mouth, tasting the length as the base of his cock strains at my lips, seeking entrance into the hot moisture.

Breathing deep, I swallow the head of his cock into my throat and my lips spread wide to accommodate his girth, my jaw warning me that it will ache if I do this for very long. I feel his cock brush my back molars and I open my mouth wider, lips opening to him, now with just my tongue to guide his cock into my depth, and I moan with the sensation that makes my cunt slick, throbbing.

"Wider" he demands and I open my mouth fully to him, my tongue just lapping as his cock thrusts into my mouth, into my throat. "I feel teeth," he warns. I raise a hand to guide him so my teeth don't hurt him... as though anything could hurt that hard raging iron in my mouth now. Fucking my mouth harder, deeper, my fingers grip the base of his cock now, not just guiding but tightening on the hard flesh, stroking with his thrusts and his cock swells to his fullest as his hips shudder and his fists in my hair tighten to a deliciously painful level.

His gasp warns me that he's not going to stop this time, he's going to pour it down my throat and I groan eagerly, my arousal so high now that I am nearing climax even though nothing touches my clit. He shoves me down hard as the first spurt grips him and he arches his hips up into my mouth, groaning with the release. My hand and lips coax more from him, then I lift my mouth from him so his cream bursts onto my lips and cheeks, the scent of his cum filling my senses as I lick at the treat.

Another groan and still more, and again and I wrap my lips around the head of his cock so my cheek is coated in hot cum and he shudders his last spasms onto my tongue. I lap gently at the pulsing channel beneath the skin with my lips still surrounding him, pulling the last of his cum from his cock. I remain there while he recovers, his breathing gradually slows and his cock begins to relax against my tongue.

Then I gently lick any new drops away and pull away, just far enough that I can slurp the cum from his abdomen, under his cock, his navel, down his balls, cleaning away the remains and savoring the taste. He's still under my ministrations, savoring the attention and utterly relaxed. When all I taste is my own saliva, I slide my body up against his, curving against his side to rest my head on his shoulder as his arm comes around my body, pulling me tightly to him. If the air is chilly, I rest my hand on his still-moist cock and balls, now smaller and retreating, soft, satisfied.

For the moment. But my tongue... my need to taste and feel will not stay down for long. I'm addicted. I must taste - his chest, his neck, his mouth... and obviously, his cock. Fetish... addiction... whatever label one might place on it.

Tomorrow night we plan to go out and perhaps feed my need with another woman's warm wet pussy. My tongue slipping inside her, up her slit to her clit where I can stroke with my tongue, up and up and up and UP until she's shaking, moaning, yesOhYesOhYes... mmmm... I do love the feel of a woman under my tongue. The taste as she gets close to cumming changes and I'm sorely pressed to keep stroking UP, to not stop and explore, but my goal is to make her cum, to feel her shake under my mouth... and to learn to know when she's had enough and I should still for a bit, my tongue flat on her clit as her lungs heave. I know B likes watching me go down on another woman... I've felt him change how he goes down on me from watching me give.

Dear gods, it's a good thing he will fuck me tomorrow... my lips are now swollen with the ache to kiss him, to lick him, to suck on his tongue and smell him surrounding me until I can descend to his groin and suck his glorious cock into my mouth...

Such an Oral Slut...

His Courtesan, aka The Sophisticated Slut

B and I spent the weekend together, our first time. What a wonderfully fun 2 days. The first night at his mountain home retreat and the 2nd night in the city. Many frank discussions of depth - past, present, future, marriage (he brought it up, no we are not), broken hearts, ideal relationships, divorce... and of sex. What we need, what we want, what we want to pursue together. And of course several amazingly intense and wonderful and unique sessions of wild, loud sex. I'm a very happy slut right now.

One of our discussions centered on what it means to be a Courtesan, and what it would take to place me in that role. Delicious. B has a level of sophistication that is hidden by his everyday appearance of jeans and comfortable work shirts, veering to flannel-type shirts in the cool Fall weather. I love flannel, but I also love linen and satin and leather. He adores shopping and dressing a woman - laughing that he is like my gay fashion consultant. This side of him is a product of his East-coast roots, and he knows what looks great and what looks cheap. And he doesn't want me to look cheap when we go out... and we are definitely going out more and more.

We also discussed what we enjoy about each other - I love his deeply masculine mannerisms, sprinkled with affection and an ability to mock himself and be silly. He is amused by my constant breaking of his stereotypes - I'm clearly a feminist, however I am also a slut and I enjoy him taking control. My definition of feminism differs from other women, obviously - I am empowered to be what I want, to acknowledge his dominant nature and embrace that without feeling as though I'm betraying women. And without making him feel he should change his ultra-masculine behaviors. I'm submissive to him and yet strong enough to be an engineer by day and to have earned the respect of my peers. I enjoy weight training and am starting to approach a level that I could compete if I wanted to/had the time, and he's enjoying directing my efforts and selecting my supplements. At my suggestion, we will be hiring a body building trainer to make better progress towards our goals, and be uber-hard by next May, when we are going to Las Vegas for a Hard Rock swinger takeover.

Part of a Courtesan is having a brain and using it, including learning a breadth of topics to be able to discuss them intelligently. I've been watching movies that are his favorites (e.g. The Godfather) so I "get" his sense of humor. I'm reading New York columnists he recommended for world issues. My range of knowledge of other areas is not something I've put much thought into, but he remarks that it's unusual when I can't answer a question on some odd topic, or when I'm wrong. I am not an offensive know-it-all - even a hint of a patient, condescending tone from me and he's called me on it. And I'm now far more comfortable teasing him and being more of myself with him, not afraid he won't like "me". He also picks on me in an affectionate but revealing manner - I am amazed at how observant he is of my body language.

So Wednesday, we are going shopping. Ironic as I'm not a patient shopper, but it will be a pleasure with him. We'll spend time in upper end stores and update my wardrobe, and his. He'll teach me what he likes. And of course... I'll go down on him in a dressing room. *grin* Oh yes, having his cock in my mouth is one of my biggest pleasures and both of us grinned at the thought. His Courtesan. With his cum in my mouth and my hair.

TabyToys Review: Kama Sutra Intensifying Gel for Women: Warm

I've tried this product several times over the past month and a half, since the great TabuToys.com folks sent it to me. Kama Sutra Intensifying Gel for Women: Warm

I tried it several times because it's effect is so subtle that I wanted to make sure I gave it a chance. But it's simply too subtle for me. The writeup says it's gentle, and it definitely is. I found it to be a bit sticky in the long run, but it has a very pleasant flavor. Blowing air over it didn't seem to change the effect for me. As instructed, I tried a few drops on my fingers and massaging it into my clit. I tried it with toys, both clitoral stimulators and vaginal. Yes, I felt a change. But I was hoping for more effect. However, it's not expensive and it is pleasant, so I can't totally say no. I will keep trying it on occasion and enjoying the subtle enhancement.

Edges

Last night after I'd struggled my way to orgasm, having used several of my toys and actually reached tears of frustration, I lay drifting in a sleepy haze and considered the edges I now regularly experience. I once read a book about sex and the different types of orgasm women have.

I'm a rollercoaster woman, up and over, then down just a little until I'm pushed over again, with some very big, shattering climaxes that leave me crashed at the bottom, quivering and unable to move. When I masturbate, I tend to cut the ride short, balancing on the precipice for only a short time, milking the sensation of about-to-cum until it overcomes me and I shudder with a release that renders me utterly relaxed. Until I have to get up to clean the toys before falling asleep.

With previous lovers, I wouldn't try to control the level of my orgasms, just let them come as they would, over and over, small ones in close succession until finally a big one would build and I'd squeeze so hard I'd force his cock out if he wasn't steel hard. And sometimes even though he was. I was rarely rendered unable to move afterwards however.

With B, he's added another couple of levels to my edges. I still ride the rollercoaster, at times with the addition of B forcing me to hold them back until he releases me to cum, which heightens the peak. He'll add a flare of pain/pleasure as well that has become addictive and incredibly powerful, forcing me to scream and then silence as I not just go over the peak, but I'm forcibly shoved over and he unrelentingly pounds into me bringing me right back up and shoving me over again, and again... until he pushes me to into total loss of control and I'm yelling with each thrust, each twist, my cum flowing over us as I become limp and still he pounds and I'm quivering under him and then somehow he brings me back up again to cum even though I can barely move, my pussy can still grip and suck as I groan.

It's these marathons that stretch into hours that we delight in. Depending on the time, we'll either take a break and rest, rehydrate, eat and relax.... or we'll change our play to oral and I'll enjoy a different edge.

The torturous, amazing soft, hot, crazy edge of his mouth on my pussy. Licking and sucking my clit, so soft on my hard clit and the flick of a tongue right on my engorged slit. Stimulation that begs me to grind on it, make it harder, shove my fingers in his hair and press his mouth onto me harder, but he won't let me do that and I'm driven up, up to a crazy begging high, gods, please don't torture me, please please please... a smack of his fingers on my clit right about then sends me screaming as his mouth covers me again and I'm not sure if I'm squirting or not but I don't care as I'm over, shuddering, convulsing my whole body until my clit suddenly becomes over-sensitive and I try to pull my hips away but he's again relentless and demands another ride, so I have no choice but to relax my hips and let him ride it again.

The G-spot edge, intense, almost a burn and now with it's accompanying squirting... that edge doesn't last long, rather a flash fire that quickly takes me to screaming.

I also cum from giving oral, as I've said before. As I give, I feel the building tension in his body, in his balls and his cock and his legs and hands and belly... feel his cock grow harder and harder under my mouth and/or hands. And I rise with it. I moan with the pleasure of giving and that adds to his pleasure. My pussy starts to drip and I have to concentrate to focus on what I'm doing. If he slides his leg between my thighs, I'll ride it, grind on him as I bring him up, trying not to make myself cum as I don't want to stop giving and cumming makes me freeze for some long moments. When his hips shudder and I know he is getting close, I can let him ride the edge, too, backing off just a bit, slow things down just a little, don't grip quite so tight with my mouth until he's straining, trying to get more, to get over the top. Mustn't keep him here on this edge too long... unless I want him to take control - grip my head in his hands and fuck my mouth; flip me onto my back and fuck my throat; shove his cock in my dripping cunt; or my ass... anything to get over that edge and spurt that hot cum all over, in, down, inside... and then I'll cum again, relishing his orgasm by meeting it with my own, not a hard high climax, but a softer shuddering all-body shaking, pressing my clit to his leg as I swallow his cum.

And another different edge, sharing him with a woman. With 2 people to pleasure and receive from, the orgasms flash over my spectrum. A woman with wicked fingers has had me riding the small waves, over and over and over. Add B's cock in there and I'm wrung hard, shuddering, quivering until I can't move. Pleasuring her with my mouth doesn't make me cum, too - I'm far too focused on what I'm doing as I have less experience between a woman's legs and it's still not as obvious to me as savoring and teasing a cock.

So many delicious edges. I know there are more edges to discover, too. I'm starting to crave the experience of 2 men and I have a 2nd man in mind that B also finds acceptable. It can't just be any guy, I don't feel. Might be awhile until it happens, but it will. I want that edge, too. I won't last long on that one.

Riding the edge...

Freely Enslaved, Let the Fun Continue

My divorce from DH became final yesterday. Remarkably easy 15 minutes at most in front of the judge. DH is out of town on a previously planned vacation. B remarked that it's a sign of the success in DH and I maintaining trust and friendship that DH kept his plans and had me go alone.

So now I'm legally Single and "free". In my head, it's really a seal on my ability to be free to be totally ME. I am kissing "vanilla" life goodbye (to the extent a working parent can).
B and I continue to plot and plan new adventures, and he continues to blow me away each time we are together. Last week, as I rode him and he tormented my nipples, I squirted all down his cock and balls and soaked his bedspread. Warm, gushing cum from my cunt... he was terribly smug about it, knowing this is a very new thing for me. He'd like me to do it on demand but I have no idea how to trigger it or to control it.

And we plot and plan together... sexy, nasty plans. We recently decided together not to pursue getting closer to a couple we met at the Roman Bath night, even though she is very sexy and appeals to both of us - her guy just has not lit off enough chemistry to go with. But we do want to find a woman to share for an entire evening/night for B's 50th. Oh yes, this time when I offered a 3-some for a 50th, it was not turned down in shock but met with broad grins, bright eyes and a hard-on.

An odd feeling last weekend, we went to our on-site club for the evening, and we started to settle onto a couch to have some fun. We needed towels to sit/lay on, so B told me to stay there and he'd get them. No sooner had he left the room than a couple came in and sat on the other end of the couch... which is fine and not an issue... usually. As she unbuckled his belt, she asked me if I was alone. No, I replied, he'll be right back. I was very uncomfortable about it -- I really do not like it when someone pounces the moment B leaves me alone. But she didn't take the hint and pushed more, asking if she could kiss me. I chuckled nervously and replied that, no, he really will be back very soon.... but B didn't appear. And didn't appear. And I wondered what the hell had happened to him, so finally I got up (he'd told me to stay put, recall) and went to find him, which I did, chatting. He saw me and apologized for the delay, so I walked to the restroom nearby, handing him his cup of water with a curt "Hold this while I pee."

I didn't need to pee, but I did need to compose myself. I realized that my earlier experience at the club months and months ago with another guy before B, where that guy had left my side for 10-15 minutes, was sloshing over onto B and that wasn't fair. Part of what I enjoy about being there with B is the feeling of protection, and I hadn't felt protected at all just then. I walked back to B, trying to shake off my emotions, but was still a bit stiff. He apologized again and we walked on together. Our previous spot at the couch was now well occupied, so we found another in a dark corner, but I wasn't in the right frame of mind and was struggling to get back. He was bemused, saying how it was a first that I was angry with him. I forced myself to explain the events and that I was not angry, but that I'd felt vulnerable and unprotected - that word, "unprotected", he understood as he takes that aspect of our relationship seriously.

To add to my confusion, he offered to go down on me right there, to make up for it. No, what I really needed was just a bit of time with his strong arms around me, my face buried in his chest, licking and sucking and pulling his energy into me. As my equilibrium returned and I became aroused from sucking, he turned me to face the wall, yanked my pants down and fucked me from behind against the wall. Ohhhh yessssss. THAT is what I needed, hell yeah. Don't be tender, no, fuck the hell out of me.

But, I do have to say, I was terribly proud of myself for not over-reacting, for explaining without anger and for being willing and able to shake off the negativity and get back to enjoying the evening. To face reality, I wasn't harmed or in any real danger, so if I'd blown up at him it would have probably destroyed not just the evening, but more. And it would have been irrational and uncalled-for. Instead, we both understand part of me a bit more. And went on to enjoy the rest of the evening.

Adding to his understanding of me... as we got ready the next morning to leave the hotel, he smacked my ass hard, affectionately. And I creamed. Yeah, he liked that, too. So did I.

Tonight, we had dinner together. That's all, just dinner. Celebrating my new state as a "freed slave". Earlier, I'd learned of the recent death of an old friend. Reminded, again. Life is short, tomorrow we die.

Let the fun continue. This slut is off to bed to burn some batteries and hopefully not break any toys. I still have a review to write for a warming gel, so that will be out soon.

Fuck on.

Sharing

One of the most memorable parts for B on Saturday was K and I giving him head together. So I am writing this to him, and I will share it with you.

Her lips are soft against mine, her tongue aggressive, licking mine, her lips sucking on mine, nibbling gently and I moan. She moans back and sucks on my mouth harder, tongues then meeting and tangling. You stir against me in the warm water of the pool, aroused by her mouth on me. Your hand grips my shoulder, your muscular arm across my neck and you chuckle, but with an edge of arousal. "Hey, I want some of that," you say, your face close to ours.

I smile against her mouth and pull away slightly, and turn to kiss you, my tongue meeting yours and then hers is there, too, both of us kissing you, three tongues meeting, taking turns sucking on your tongue, our mouths pressed together and she moans into our mouths. Breathlessly you pull back and groan, "Oh, wow, I was kidding, but ... wow." She chuckles and nibbles along your jaw as I feel her hand on my belly, groping for your cock.

Your eyes widen as she strokes and you groan "Oh, whoever that is, Thank you!" She and I grin and then we kiss, she and I, as my hand caresses your balls. Together we turn and lean in to kiss you, pressing you against the side of the pool. Her hand pulls at your cock and she moans "I want to taste him." You need no further encouragment to hoist yourself out of the water and settle on the edge of the pool, your hard cock tilting towards us, inviting our mouths.

I cannot see your cock pointing at me without engulfing it in my mouth and she edges in as well. I nudge your thighs wider so she and I can both lick, my lips sucking along the side of the shaft as she pulls the head into her mouth. I lick up your shaft and meet her tongue and together our tongues swirl around the head of your cock, my hand reaching up to cup your balls. Your head falls back as you lean against your arms, back arching in pleasure. She and I kiss each other with your cock in our mouths, each on one side of the head, lips meeting as we stroke up and down. She sucks hard, pulling you deep into her mouth and I suck on your inner thigh, licking your balls, pushing your thighs even further apart, urging you closer to the edge of the pool so I can suck your balls into my mouth.

My turn to suck your cock deep into my mouth, down into my throat, pulling on you as her hand strokes your balls and you shudder, your hips tremble and you thrust against me. I pull off and her mouth joins mine as we suck along your shaft, your cock throbbing against our lips, your cock now extremely full from my efforts. She engulfs your cock, lips sinking partway along your shaft, then strokes, sucking up and down, then pulls away and presses you into my mouth, her eyes shining with her arousal. I pull you deep and my pussy throbs as her fingers caress my clit and I groan. You shudder again, my moans driving you higher, closer.

Her fingers are devilish, sinking deep into my cunt and I suck harder on your cock, stroking with my hand as well and my moans are answered by your gasp. A musky salty slippery taste coats my tongue and I groan at the taste, then pull away to share it with her, my tongue thrusting into her mouth as she licks some of the treat from my tongue. I draw back and grin and you gasp "Did you get pre-cum?" you manage to say as my hand softly strokes your cock, pulling her close to me.

You slide down from the pool's edge and pull us both close, your strong arms surrounding us as you kiss me, scooping more of your pre-cum from my mouth and shaking with the taste. Her tongue joins ours, the soft feel of her breasts on mine, her firm but soft thighs an intense erotic contrast to your hard body on my other side. I rest my cheek on your hard chest, hearing your heart pounding as she does the same. Your arms tighten around us and we smile into your face. "I am definitely the luckiest man here," you declare, chuckling as we join in another 3-way kiss, a true sharing of each other. A real 3-some.

When in a Roman Bath...

Yesterday was an amazing evening for B and me, beyond our norm. Again. A local swinger entertainment outfit organized a take-over of a local hot springs resort. The resort has a very large spring-fed swimming pool, very warm but not hot. Although last night it was steaming hot. Like a scene from Caligula, an orgy in the Roman Baths.

I have no idea how many people were in the pool at any one time, indulging in debauchery, depravity and all around fun. I don't know because my attention was firmly occupied by B and our playmate, K. B and I first spotted K at our initial visit together to the sex club, dubbing her The Woman in White Bangles, admiring her ass and her body and the lovely blow job she bestowed on her husband. B spotted her at this takeover party first, pointing her out to me.

We didn't approach her right away as the bar area was very jammed with people and we felt a bit out of place, not knowing anyone and both of us are a little on the shy side. We meandered about a bit aimlessly, waiting for 10:00 to arrive when the clothing-required rule was lifted. He received a number of smiles of interest from women but I was a bit intimidated and kept my eyes mostly down. I'd had a rather potent margarita and found my wits a bit addled and my tongue a bit too loose, my words a little too flippant, actually making B self-conscious, so I kept my mouth shut to keep from further being rude.

To our good fortune, as 10:00 grew close, we found ourselves near K and she greeted us warmly, very warmly, to B's delight and mine. She leaned in close to me and asked in a low voice if I was interested in women as well as men. "Oh, hell yes!" I replied with a broad grin.

We kissed lightly, then a bit deeper. She sucked on my lips and I groaned. Our tongues twined and mouths sucked on each other, hands cupping breasts and teasing nipples. Then we heard splashes and looked out to see naked people hopping into the pool. At last. I pulled my shirt off to reveal the tiny mesh MailbuStrings suit and K gasped in delight and her husband oooh'd as B grinned. We all slid into the pool and the 3 of us quickly delved into explorations of each other, K's fingers quickly in my cunt and expertly drawing me into orgasm as I shook against B's chest, her hand relentless, over and over until I finally twisted away and tried to return the favor to her, but my fingers aren't as skilled on a pussy as hers, although I did enjoy finding her clit piercing.

Details merge -

• K and I sharing B's cock in our mouths until I tasted pre-cum, then sharing it with her and he slid into the pool, sharing with the 2 of us.
• I rode B's hard thigh until I came shuddering against him, then K did, although she didn't cum.
• I got out of the pool for water for B and when I came back he was face-down on K's cunt, she shuddering and crying out under his skilled tongue.
• B lifted K's hips from the water and held her with his leg for me to go down on, and she came on my tongue as she moaned to him that he had not been kidding about the skill of my mouth.
• B holding us both and declaring himself the luckiest man in the pool.
• K stating how HOT B is... smiles from me

We withdrew from the pool and moved to our room, the 3 of us tangling in the bed. K had brought a double-cocked dildo that she wanted to DP me with and B readily agreed, knowing that this was one of my fantasies. Just as we began to discuss how to go about this, K's husband joined our room, declaring he was content to watch, knowing that the 3 of us had a chemistry together.

B and K DP'd me until I screamed in pleasure and I pushed B out of me, cuming so hard I couldn't move. She rose from between my thighs and I rolled off of B, onto my stomach, gasping for air.

Cold water was passed around. Again, events blur, several standing out...

• Riding B while K's husband rode her next to us, B aroused by her moans and I caught K's husband's rhythm and rode B to match, the bed springs enhancing our play.
• I went down on B as K licked at my wet pussy and ass as her husband fucked her from behind, a daisy chain of delight, each of us receiving and giving.
• Again and again we brought B close to the edge but he didn't want the play to end and dragged me off him.
• I lay back with my head over the edge of the bed, B fucking my mouth as K's husband did the same to hers, with the double-dildo between us, B leaning forward to move it to thrust each of us.
• K went down on B as he lay back on the bed. I put my head under her hips and brought her down to meet my mouth, my feet on the TV stand at the end of the bed.
• B instructed that I clean his cock from my cum on him, thick creamy cum on him that made K and her husband gasp aloud to see.
• B lifting K off from going down on me, picking her up and turning her in his arms the way he does to me and she gasped in surprise and then in delight, enjoying his show of strength as he cradled her in his muscular arms. "I love it when he does that," I grinned to her. "We could just stay here awhile," he chuckled.

As we played, some of our kink rose naturally - he smacked my ass loudly for a snarky teasing remark. I could not help but beg him to let me cum, even though he'd said repeatedly that I was free to do so - the mere asking and his voice telling me to do so pushed me over the edge. He smacked my clit and smashed it with his fingers and I gasped out a shriek as I came, so loud that K and her husband asked if I was ok and B just laughed that he'd touched my clit. K examined my slave tag over and over. B chuckled that he "owned" me sexually, had chained me, tugging on the slender necklace I wear that usually holds my tag when it isn't on my belly ring.

K wanted B to cum badly, but he didn't want the fun to be over. As he stood by the side of the bed, we again she and I shared his cock in our mouths. I stroked him hard with my hand and mouth as she kissed him, sucked his nipple then cupped his balls. Again his hips shook as he rode the edge of orgasm and he sighed. I asked if he wanted to cum and he gasped and hesitated, then said no. So again, I backed off and forced K to as well.

We relaxed and something K said made me realize she was taking B's lack of cuming personally. I attempted to reassure her that he has incredible control, but she was clearly tired. After resting for a bit, she admitted she was too tired to keep playing and wanted to head to sleep. Kisses and hugs, gropes and more kisses all around, plans for another time, and B and I were alone. Lights off, I crawled up the bed between his thighs and sucked and stroked and licked until his cum spurted into my mouth and I swallowed greedily, gulping to not miss a drop, licking clean what managed to escape.

This morning, after a fitful night's sleep, we slowly woke and snuggled, smiling together over different parts of the night. He groaned over the memory of the sight of K and I going down on him together and the double-dildo between us, so much that his cock rose beneath the sheets in spite of how tired we were. I didn't touch as he usually doesn't want morning sex, but he surprised me and the morning began with my pussy filled with his cum. Delightful.

Plans are beginning to be laid for Las Vegas in October. I can't stop grinning.

Kindred; Going Feral

Kindred spirits finding one another across physical space. Connecting with others of like mind, finding another person who has a similar view, similar outlook, desires, openness... those connections are rare enough that when those of a sexual openness connect, there's a moment of recognition that is delightful. Treasured.

I'm sure those less sexually open have similar connections with those who share their interests as well, whatever they may be - hunting, knitting, dogs, bicycles, etc. But the social acceptance of those interests makes it easier to find others with those interests. Sexually accepting people, however, often keep their nature hidden, like it's a criminal thing. Like a neighbor might say upon learning that "she was always such a nice quiet person, never made any trouble."

But the complete connections, on multiple levels including sexually, those connections are just risky to attempt and usually slow to develop. When I met B in person, we'd already shared our sexual natures with each other and knew we were similar that way. Or at least possibly so - it's easy to be open in email and yet when it comes down to doing, not as easy. More challenging. Can I really be myself, entirely? Do have I to hold some part of me back?

With those I'm not likely to be involved with sexually, it's even harder. Sharing my sexual nature with, for example, a straight female friend, will come very slowly, even if I sense there may be a common ground. With a man I'm not interested in being involved with, I may not allow it to show at all because I'm not a cock tease, and most men will want it if they learn of it. I'm easy, but picky LOL

And then there are those who I can tell sense it within me somehow, some moment I've slipped and been myself, and they are drawn like moths to flames (how cliche, sorry readers). Those, I can feel testing, wanting to ask the pointed questions, sensing they'll get direct answers if they did ask, but hesitant, careful, wary. Those I also hesitate with... Are they looking to understand the Freak or is it Like drawn to Like? Are they merely curious to talk to The Freak, or are they Kindred Freak?

I've been ragingly horny for the past few days, and it's getting more intense. Feral. Won't see B until Saturday.

I came home early from work on Monday, eyes killing me from allergies and slept a bit, then woke cuming from a dream of riding B, sliding his cock under my clit, the whole thick veined length as my dildo to rub on. My body demanded I give it more relief and I put the giant toy to use and somehow bent it too far and damaged the vibrator mechanism, dammit.

I then took the g-spot vibrator and finished myself off with it, only to break it as well ripping out the batteries with no contacts in my eyes. I broke 2 toys in the space of 10 minutes trying to achieve relief where B can get me off, stronger, in about 2 minutes... 5 max if he takes it slow and makes me hold it back.

Today he tells me of new swimming "board shorts" he's bought to be publically acceptable swimwear... and how they ride low on his hips, sliding down to suggest more... and hell yes my mind went there: his hard abs being slowly revealed by the waistband, the soft line of fur leading to his cock becoming more pronounced as they slide. Turn him around and his delicious stripper-worthy ass slowly uncovered as he swivels just enough to nudge them down just a tad, teasing me, tempting me to yank them down fast and sink my mouth onto his crack and my fingers into the hard tanned skin... and wrap my fist around, almost around, that thick hard cock, hot, hard, delicious, pre-cum glistening to beckon my tongue to flick it away...

And me with broken toys... Saturday is how many days away?

Contrasts

The time between getting my brains thoroughly annihilated by B are filled with mundane tasks and events and at times, the contrast it very jarring, other times it's simply fun. Yesterday each of us had a different extreme of contrast - he chainsawing beetle-infested pine trees around his property with his kids, and me de-lousing my kids and myself (ok, that is just gross), and shopping for school supplies. The week before, he taught some kids to fly-fish, grinning that the next day he'd be wildly fucking me.

Yesterday was not so jarring that I didn't pause to appreciate a lovely body here and there. Driving past a home, my eye was caught by the glint of sun on a tanned hard back, the man oblivious to my gaze. Driving on Friday, a group of 4 young men (20's) on motorcycles in a long stop-and-go line of vehicles, one rose on his feet on the pedals and shook his fine legs, and ass, to ease some cramps. Yum, do that again? I didn't honk as I didn't want to startle the lovely on the bike, but... yummmm.

Taking one of my kids to a sleepover, the child's father was working out when we got there, dripping in sweat. He laughed that he'd give me a hug but... I quickly agreed with him... No. Haha! Truthfully, the man is not someone I find attractive, more soft-looking and "nice" than I go for, but apparently he finds me attractive - the smiling lit-up face when he greets me at the school is a bit more than just a greeting. But it was obvious that he works hard on his body to keep it slim.

Last night, a nice hot bath with my favorite Lavendar scent was another sensual appreciation. Truly, the day was rather grueling, so much that only a concerted effort kept me from bursting into tears.

I won't see B until the weekend, so I'll have to continue random moments of appreciation... including my massage tomorrow. Ahhh yes.... the masseuse who appreciates painted toenails and hard girlie abs ;)

Do It Like You Mean It!

warning that this is another long journal-like post. Erotic, but lots of details left out for some kind of brevity.

Great evening with B last night, delightfully sore this morning and big smiles all last night. Started with him joining me at my new gym (24 Hr) for a workout. He corrected a couple of exercises I was doing... I do so love a man spotting me on bench press. I can't quite look up the legs of his gym shorts, but I can see that bulge hanging just above my head ;) I stretched well before and after, knowing I'd be well used later.

Dinner followed, great conversation throughout, taking it slow as we didn't want to be early getting to the club. Only 1 drink between the 2 of us, as we both were driving home. Not that it would have lasted long after we got to the club - we worked off all our dinner, probably 1/2 gallon of water each or more... damn that was fun!

He'd asked me to wear my new cowgirl boots with a short skirt. Of course, I obliged but he changed his mind about me wearing it out and about when I bent waaaaaaay over to give him a view of my "soul" LOL! I slipped jeans on instead, over my new bikini I bought for our planned trip to Las Vegas. This one:

B assured me I looked great in it. I sure felt hot, but very exposed. Empowering though to know I can carry off a suit like this, at 48.

Brief summary of our evening: fucked hard and long, we arrived at 10:30 and played on and off, mostly on, until 2:00. He came once... me, over 20, maybe over 30. And just generally enjoyable night, laughing together and fucking hard and intense, so good that I heard many gasps as B pounded me, went down on me, shoved me down on him... damn we are so fucking good together.

When we arrived, we slowly walked the club, and this night the mood was very different from 3 weeks ago - couples were already engaged in fun, with not nearly as much chit-chat this time. Excellent energy in the place. B shoved me back onto what is supposedly a massage table, stripped my jeans down to my ankles, pulled the suit aside and attacked my pussy with his tongue. Oh dear gods, I came so fast and so hard, 4 times in a row within probably 5 minutes. I was a quivering mass when he pulled me up and tucked me back into my jeans with deep kisses, telling me that I deserved that. I wasn't about to disagree!

We spent a little time in a cabana bed, B fucking me from behind, then, wandered a bit more, B getting good and rough, brutally smacking my ass and biting my nipples as I tried to stifle my screams of orgasm, but B demanded that I scream loud, he wanted to hear it, so I did, gritting my teeth. The noise in the club was enough to keep the sound from going much further than our cabana, but I caught silhouettes in the curtain opening.

Taking a break, we settled onto a couch to watch "center stage" for a bit - the large round bed in the middle of the place. We made out a bit, then a couple sitting next to us struck up a conversation. She was highly intrigued at my tiny swimming suit, and in playing with a woman, asking if we shared. naughty grin B was enjoying her coming onto us, allowing her to grope me as I went down on B, my ass in the air, which I moved closer to her to encourage her. I went in for some serious play with her, all the time my hands or body on him.

At one point I pulled her legs open a bit more and draped one of hers over his and planted my tongue on her pussy. She moaned and I gave it my best, bringing her up high quickly, very wet and sweet. She groaned to her partner and B that a woman's tongue is much different and very good, to which B told her that this woman's tongue was especially skillful. ;) We pulled my hair over her thighs and belly, a special delight a woman can offer that most men can't.

I brought her to a shuddering moaning climax, her juice on my face, then turned back to B's hard cock and worked him well until he pulled me up and shoved me back onto the couch and fucked me hard. A few times the woman's partner reached a hand over to touch, which I didn't like, but it didn't keep me from cuming anyway, several times. The woman's hands and mouth on my breasts were lovely and she reached down to hold B's balls as he thrust and he groaned with pleasure.

We had several people watching, but I again found it no challenge to block them out and just focus on what B was doing - so intensely good, my eyes either shut tight or rolling back in ecstasy. His fingers showed the woman's how to pinch my nipples until I arched into it, cumming harder as he fucked harder. I got impatient with the softness and reached down to twist a nipple hard and I heard someone gasp at the move but I came hard, digging my nails into his lovely ass. A final gasping orgasm, my body curling into itself, my head on his chest and I heard another remark at the intensity and looked up into B's gloating eyes. He flipped us back and shoved my head down onto his cock to clean him off, then pulled me up to lay next to him and rest a bit.

The couple next to us started chatting again, and I blocked it out... too wrung to chat. I heard the guy ask B how many times he'd cum and he chuckled that he hadn't at all yet. The man was just a tad surprised -- the intensity with which B and I fuck is unusual. Another time, the guy asked about our relationship and I heard the possessive, proud note in B's voice as he described "us", telling me to rise to show off my "slave tag". "But," B finished off, "I am the only one who fucks her." This said to ward off the guy asking for a turn, B later told me, for which I was grateful as the guy was not appealing to me. He did compliment me on my body, which B and I both smiled at and I replied that it didn't come free, this was hard work. I knelt between B's knees, resting my head on his chest.

The woman rose to go to the bathroom, then came back saying she couldn't find it. B told her where it was and she walked off, but was soon back whining that she couldn't find it. I growled in irritation and rose, took her by the hand and led her through the crowd, stark naked. Quite an interesting sensation, walking through a crowd that is mostly fully dressed, nude. Like something out of a nightmare, except it was real and very erotic. No one tried to touch. Returning to B, I rested a bit more, then he wanted to find a new spot so we donned some of our clothes (easier than carrying them) and wandered. Before leaving, I knelt in front of the woman and interrupted her conversation with a Single Man, kissing her deeply and thanking her. The Single Man watched, mouth gaping I am sure, and as I walked away he came out with "Life is GOOD!" I cracked up and replied, "If that didn't get a twitch outa you, you are dead!" He was not dead.

B and I wandered some more, watching others engaged in fun. One cabana had a huge crowd in front and we made our way up to see what the action was - a pile of people on the bed, probably 5-6 people, all thoroughly enjoying, along with the crowd of at least a dozen watchers. I grinned at B "JUST a pile. Been there done that." He busted out laughing. "So jaded!" hahaha!

Our last session was back onto the large bed in a back corner - an air-conditioner vent was going strong and the cool breeze invited us to play. He alternated fucking me hard with going down on me, spinning me around, flipping me over (I love it when he picks me up entirely and turns me in his arms... love that strong body of his!), pulling me to where he wanted me. One point I was on all fours, backed up to him as he stood on the floor and he yanked me up by my hair and someone watching gasped out loud and moaned. I came then, hard, that moan adding to my intense focus.

B wanted to cum all over me and we pushed him closer to orgasm, but it was not a fast rise and a few times, the pause while I came backed him from the edge... but he wouldn't let me NOT cum. Each time I'd feel him starting to expand and throb, I'd approach orgasm myself, but wanted to hold it back so I could keep moving, but he demanded that I cum for him. "Cum for me, cum for your Owner." Oh gods, no way I would say no. He once asked if I wanted to cum again as I rode him from above and I should my head fiercely, but he growled at me not to do that and to cum for him.

I rode him hard, rocking my body, grinding my hips on his, once leaning far forward and resting my hands on the bed - "Hands on ME" he growled again, so I let my fingers bite into his delicious chest. Each time I rose to re-impale myself on him, I gasped as the last thick inch forced inside of me, splitting me wide. I told him this, and other amazing things he does to me, knowing my words would turn him on as well. Soon after, his pace became stronger, a bit more shuddering with each stroke, and I knew he would soon climax. I sucked hard on his chest, flicking his nipple hard with my tongue and he gasped then ground out "THERE! Take that cum in your mouth!" Oh, fuck, it was so hard to pull my pussy off his huge cock, but I forced myself, then slid down his body to take his cock in my mouth as he shot his load. The first into my mouth, then I slid up to take the next one on my chest, making sure to get some in my hair, reveling in his abandoned arching into me. When the pulsing was over, I slid down to lick all the delicious cum from his body, from his cock.

I was interrupted in my licking by a man complimenting B on our session, on how enjoyable it was to watch. B was a bit out of it from his climax and I simply kept licking, so the man didn't get much of a response from us. LOL

After we'd recovered a bit, we wandered back to soak in the club's hot tub for a few minutes. It was empty but for us, which I was glad off. B hopped out to use the restroom, only gone for less than a minute, but in that minute, the guy who'd complimented us approached quickly and asked if we were interested in a Single Man. I smiled my thanks to him but replied "No, Sorry." He withdrew and B emerged from the bathroom, slipping back into the water. I told him of the approach and he expressed some irritation and I smiled to see his own brand of possessiveness. He actually bristled with it - it's bad manners to ask a woman with another man, especially when said other man has stepped away for just a moment. B takes his protection of me seriously, and apparently his ownership as well. I'm a bad enough girl that I want him to be on guard. As I am - I will share, but on previously agreed terms.

Wanting to relax and just sit together for a bit, we searched for a good spot, but all were taken, so we ducked outside into the cool night air. Unfortunately, this area is where the smokers go to smoke and we were soon surrounded. He was leaning back onto the wall and had pulled me into him with his arm around my shoulder, what a great feeling. I rested my cheek on his hard chest and leaned into his body, letting him hold me up.

A very young woman approached us and asked us some pointed questions, after asking if it was ok. She said I looked totally completely wrung out and relaxed, and B still looked a bit tense (not sure what that was about) and wondered why. I laughed that I'd just cum around 30 times and that'd relax any woman. She expressed disbelief and B laughed and repeated the fact. She asked for more details - how many partners? ONE. "ME" B gloated. How many sessions? B and I thought about it "Three?"

She pondered a bit then asked "So why are you here, then? It sounds like you have it made!" B smiled and replied that he likes to show off. I grinned and shrugged, "It's fun! And I am Bi." Oh that got her attention. She asked more pointed questions about just how "Bi" was I and was eventually satisfied that I was indeed quite Bi. She confessed she had not gotten laid that night which shocked me. She was pretty enough, slender, and at an on-site sex club. She should have been well-fucked by that time. More people joined and the smoke got too thick and we retreated to B's truck to get ready to head home. Discussions of plans for the week, I'll be spending the night on Wednesday. Big grin on my face.

Yes, he does fuck me like he means it. Yes, I'm just going to relax and enjoy it. Because I do mean it.

Attached... or not

Self-analysis alert...

I heard something the other day on the radio about Attachment Disorder... the inability to deeply attach to anyone due to events in one's past, creating distrust of longevity. Hmmm. The context I heard it about was kids of divorced parents having issues attaching because of a string of boy/girlfriends brought in by a parent, attaching, then having to let go when the parent breaks up with the boy/girlfriend.

My own context is a bit different, but relevant... my father was Air Force. Gone for months and even an entire year at a time. Might be shot down on any given day and my kid mind dealt with that by letting him go, detaching over and over. So each time, me re-attachment was shallower. A few years ago, that same father spent many many months in the hospital and almost died 3 times, and at one point I had to ask him if he wanted to continue treatment... preparing to let go again.

My mother has been outwardly iron-willed during all those times. Distant, holding it all in, except for a few moments here and there.

No wonder I am a Bachelorette, eh? Give me the semi-deep relationship that I can let go of. I'm prepared for the loss at any moment, indeed, I anticipate it and enable it. I expect it. I force it if it doesn't happen. I also need many people in my life to buffer against that loss. Polyamorism is good for that. Built-in backup, I suppose. And yet... I yearn for Twu Wuv. Fucked up...

Except, right now, I have no backup. And I can feel myself withdrawing. That other side of the fence. I'm hoping this depressive low rises before I do something stupid. Trying oh-so-hard to keep my voice down and legs open. But I'm riding the edge, again.

I need to be fucked, hard, fast, non-stop, relentless, punishing and consuming. Good thing B and I have plans for tomorrow night. Fuck plans. Plans help keep me sane. That, and alcohol. And working out, which I haven't had in ... over a week. No wonder I'm close to insane right now. I finally got my gym membership and will go in this weekend and work my ass off.

Ok, need to move to something a bit better, or I'm just gonna wallow all night.

I am getting to know another of my cousins. A 2nd gen cousin, which is, what... a cousin-once-removed? Kid of my first cousin... ANYway, said kid is 22 and has just come out of the closet. His parents are some of The Most Conservative Christians in my family. I'm a bisexual Pagan... i.e. As Far From Conservative Christian as one gets in my family LOL So I added him on FB yesterday and we've been chatting.

He's showed me pics of some uber-sexy men he wants to fuck and we laughed that I'd do some of them, too. But not all - there was one I said "No" to and he laughed that that particular guy was gay anyway. Hahaha! But we agree on some points - hard abs, great eyes and nice chest. With fur. Hahaha! He likes shorter men, however, where I like to look up.

He's slightly bi and we laughed over my taste in women compared to his.

His best friend is straight, to his dismay, and sexy as hell, to both our delights hahaha. But half my age, dear gods. Sigh. Frankly, it was just so nice to have someone else that is a free thinker to actually talk to. Yeah, he's half my age. But one knows a kindred spirit when one finds one, and we are.

He asked for discretion about his sexuality on FB as many of those "friends" don't know about him, and I reciprocated - I certainly don't advertise being Bi on FB! I'd heard great things about him from others in the family and so felt I knew a bit about him before we started chatting, even though I don't think I've ever actually met him. (Yeah, I have cousins I've never met... big families.) So I invited the young man out to visit. No idea if he'll accept, although the gay community is much more accessible here. But in parting, he said "Talk later, buddy." Cracked me up, but awwwww!

On the bright side, I got horse manure on my new boots today. LOL

Ok, I can do better than horse shit...

I will soon go to bed and dream of B's hard body on mine. His huge hard cock in my hands. My lips wrapped around the hot head of his cock, licking his length like the most delectable treat on the planet... which it is. His hot cum splattering my chest, my nipples, into my hair and onto my face. Shoved deep into my cunt, spreading me so wide that it's almost painful. Pounding me so hard, my clit is smashed with each thrust, B's face smiling that gloating grin as I arch in agonistic ecstasy. And beg for more. And still I cum.

His fingers twisting my nipples until I can't hold back my screams, but for his hand on my mouth, his fingers in my mouth coated with my musk as my pussy clenches with each tug of his fingers. His mouth... ah gods, his mouth on mine while his fist in my hair makes my pussy drip. (I feel a clench in my gut that shoots down to my clit as I type that... damnnn.) His mouth on my clit, flicking hard, sucking while his hands hold my thighs open, relentless, making me cum over and over and not easing up until my hands on his head can't grip his hair any longer and my hips rock down, trying vainly to escape. His mouth on my ear, biting the lobe until I have to scream as I cum. His mouth on my nipple, gripping it hard. And still, I cum.

Shoving my head down to his cock, jamming his cock down my throat, fucking my mouth. His hard hot hand smacking my ass repeatedly until the burn brings tears to my eyes and yet, my cunt weeps more, streaming cum down his cock. Wanting more, but not... Please... more... a slap of his fingers over my nipple and I grunt in pain and then gasp at the corresponding clench of my cunt... And still, I cum.

His cock invading my ass, forcing its way in, in spite of any preparation he's done, his cock is so huge that it always takes me, hurts me, rapes me in the most delicious sense of the word. Fucks me so hard that my eyes roll back, pounds my g-spot through my ass so my pussy squirts all over both of us. As he drives that thick cock in deep until his balls are against my ass. Holding my legs up so far my feet touch the bed by my ears, stretching my body almost impossibly. Flipping me over, shoving me down, pinning me with the fully weight of his large body so I'm covered, smothered, completely unable to move...

And still... I cum.

Mmmm, better. Time for the gigantic dildo.

Damn You, Kevin

Random ramblings warning...

I really must stop watching romantic comedies. I love them, but they depress the hell out of me these days. Tonight it was "French Kiss", Meg Ryan and Kevin Kline. The final kiss in the vineyard when his hands tangle into the back of her dress, gripping it hard... sigh.

I've filed the last of the divorce papers today and today was the first with DH both taking the kids to summer camp and picking them up from his new place, so it's an odd day. I was hoping my gym membership card would arrive (great deal from Costco), but it hadn't, so home alone. Which I like, but would like to talk with B and he's not available. So I'm melancholy, wishing for Rhett, I suppose. Or Kevin Kline with a bad/sexy/wonderfully fake French accent, and a cock that doesn't droop.

I had a wonderful massage today, getting rid of some of my major tension kinks and it was good to be touched. The man I selected was almost all business... almost. Compliments on my abs, a flick on my red-painted toenails saying he liked the color... my hand accidently brushing his cock as he leaned over me to work on my legs (yes, I did eventually move my hand away) and some clearly flirty eyes... fun that way as well, even though I wasn't attracted to him.

This weekend I bought servicable cowgirl boots, not sexy, but I still feel sexy in them, tough sexy chick strut.

Makes me want a stallion though. (Damn that's corny.)

The Next Phase

This week, B and I have moved into new territory: A Couple.

We've agreed to re-join the swinger website we met on, but as a couple. We took a picture, together, to create the account and that was hysterically funny fun. Together.

We are booked to go to an over-night "takeover" party (the party takes over an entire hotel/resort), together, as a couple.

We are joining the local private club, as a couple.

We are planning a weekend to Vegas, as a couple.

And yet, we are still both not intimidated by a 3rd joining us, either for 1-time fun or more on-going.

However, there was a moment last night that I struggled to maintain my pleasure of the moment, to keep my walls up and yet remain open to the intensity and let it overwhelm me. It is incredibly hard to submit completely when I have to also keep these walls up, keep my guard up, not give it all up. To trust, in other words.

I finally dragged myself out of the downward spiral by recalling a reply to my Rhett post - what could I do to make this moment The Best Possible for him?

The Slut that is His Pleasure Slave rose up inside me and I gave to him my absolute best oral skills I know how... and ohhhhh I do know how. He bade me turn off a light which required that I get off the bed and walk to his doorway. He had me stop in the dimly lit doorway and I knew what he wanted... the fantasy of a pleasure slave that comes to him at night, crawls into his bed and up between his thighs then sucks him, pleasures him with no thought of anything else until he explodes in her mouth, then leaves the bed, leaves him to sleep an exhausted slumber.

*naughty grin*

His hands gripping my head as his hips trembled with his cum exploding into my mouth was delicious in many more ways than one.

His broad sincere smile as I walked out his door, his fist in my hair as he kissed me good night, his email today telling me that last night was "very very enjoyable", his enthusiastic conversation about upcoming plans, the truly amazingly outrageously sexy swimming suit he asked me to wear and wants to take pictures of me wearing, and the fun of setting up our joint profile... all more than delicious.

Thank the gods for this blog... it helped me keep my head and rescue the evening from being a sad melancholy event, instead making it one of my more memorable efforts to please him... just because it pleased him, and pleased me. To keep the pleasure foremost in my mind. Into the next phase.